Wheelie Bins

Let me get this right
Blue Bin - Plastic,glass and cans
Brown Bin - cardboard,garden and food waste
Grey Bin - anything NOT to be recycled
Green Box - paper,newpapers and magazines
Blue Bags - clothes and paired shoes

Wheelie bins ready for collection by 7am on collection day
Placed at the edge of your property so as not to get in anyone's way
No items that could be a health and saftey risk to the collectors
Bins lids must be closed
Bin taken back onto your property on the day of collection,or you could get FINED
Use the right bin or your whole collection is REJECTED with a card being left,telling you,you've fucked up and your bin hasn't been emptied.

In MORE detail :

BLUE BINS - Glass bottles,jars,food cans,drink cans,empty aerosol cans ( gr8 fuckin fun for the kids on the estate then ),plastic bottles ( druggies will LOVE them ),yoghurt pots,margarine tubs,plastic food trays,fruit punnets,foil food trays and aluminium baking foil ( a bag-head's idea of Heaven )
ALL must be empty and clean ( so theres no chance a smack-head could pick up a nasty desease ),and all bottles must have tops removed.
DON'T DARE THROW -
drink cartons,cling film and other plastic wrapping,plastic bags,plant pots,drinks glasses,pyrex,engine oil bottles or polystyrene

GREEN BOX - Paper,magazines,shredded paper,junk mail,brochures,catalogues,telephone directories INCLUDING yellow pages of course
Remove ALL plastic wrapping from junk mail
DON'T DARE THROW -
Cardboard,greetings cards,drinks cartons,plastic bags,envelopes,jiffy bags or wallpaper

BLUE BAG - Clothes or paired shoes,bags,belts,bed linen and towels ( all to go to gupters across the shores.Cuz of course we don't need them in this country as there are practically NO homeless people according to the 'Government' and we have to pander to Muslim countries in case they all blow us all the fuck up )

BROWN BINS - Grass cuttings ( not my fucking home-grown ),weeds ( see previous ),hedge clippings,cut flowers,egg shells,cardboard egg boxes,tea bags,coffee grounds,veg and fruit peelings,meat,fish,bones,all cooked and uncooked food waste,cardboard food packaging,flattened boxes of cereal packets,vegetarian animal bedding (WTF?),pet litter.Oh,but the good news is you can wrap food and vegetarian animal waste in ONE sheet of nwspaper...now I just need to understand what in fucks name is vegetarian animal waste.At the last check,I'm sure our cats were carnivores.
DON'T DARE THROW -
Plastic of ANY description,including plastic bags and BIODEGRADABLE bags ( whats the fucking point in them then? ),soil,stone,rubble,dog or cat waste,coal or ash.

GREY BIN - Food,polystyrene food trays and packaging,plastic wrapping,bread bags,cling film,drink cartons,ash from fires ( with the obligatory Health and Safety instruction following,telling us dumb-ass public not to throw HOT ash away.We must let it cool,thickos ),disposable nappies,saitary (YUK ) and incontinence pads PROPERLY wrapped of course.
DON'T DARE THROW -
Anything that can't be recycled and clinical waste,hot ashes ( AGAIN we are reminded ),rubble or soil

FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH ANY OF THE ABOVE AND OUR NAZI COUNCIL WILL FINE US £1000.

What I'd like to know is how the FUCK they expect old people to take all this in???? It's hard enough getting your head around all this shit when you are young.How are the old folk going to deal with this nightmare?I'll add more to this tomorrow,but now I'm sick of thinking about it.We have been told there will be bin 'inspections'.What has this country fucking come to?